![]() ![]() “Why can’t I just stay here?” I found myself asking. New items occasionally shake up the experience, and I found myself getting more efficient at it over time, but it’s unnecessarily tedious-especially since most of the early hospitals have more empty space than you’ll ever need in order to meet their objectives. It’s always on you to build these out for some reason, plus staff them. Every hospital needs a reception area, a pharmacy, a general practitioner’s office, and so on. You end up retreading a lot of ground before getting into the new stuff. It’s doubly annoying because of the blank-slate nature of subsequent hospitals. What I really want is to build one great hospital, not a dozen half-assed ones, but the way it doles out rewards and new mechanics, the game almost demands you keep moving. Not enough time to relax, and I wish Two Point Hospital were either reined in a bit or more deliberate with its pacing. You only need to get one star (out of a possible three) to move on-a process that usually takes 30 to 40 minutes at most. Snowbound hospitals demand radiators for instance, or both patients and staff will freeze.Īs soon as you get comfortable Two Point Hospital wants to whisk you away though. Later on, a new hospital usually means new high-level mechanics, like research labs or staff training facilities, or even environmental concerns. These rooms cost more, require more staff, and take up a lot of space. “All the maladies you can cure by building a Ward.” Sometimes it’s more advanced treatment facilities, like the Colourizer for Grey Anatomy. Early on that’s usually a disease or group of diseases, i.e. IDG / Hayden DingmanĮach level introduces new ideas and constraints. Starting from a small, one-building clinic in the suburbs, soon you’re laying out enormous, eight-building facilities in esteemed castle-like universities and so on. Two Point Hospital isn’t a singular place-more of a healthcare empire. At least fifteen, judging by the Steam achievements. I’ll admit, I haven’t finished Two Point Hospital yet, but I’m eight hospitals in, and I’ve no idea how many there are. Yes, yes it is.Īnyway, the bulk of your time is spent building up hospitals to cure a procession of ridiculous diseases. “It must be weird for you to hear this voice every few minutes,” he says. The radio DJ is another high point worth mentioning, his spoken interludes particularly surreal when you’re playing at 3 a.m. It worked, and two decades later Theme Hospital is still considered an all-time classic, even appearing in EA’s On-the-House program. Not really appropriate material for a video game adaptation.īut Bullfrog borrowed the mechanics of hospitals without the realities, cursing its patients with irreverent diseases like Uncommon Cold and Kidney Beans. Chances are if you’re in a hospital normally, it’s one of the worst days of your life. It wasn’t a game about curing cancer or staving off an influenza epidemic-and good thing, too. Theme Hospital was more a pseudo-simulation though. As I wrote a few months ago, Theme Hospital was “a simulator from that era in the ‘90s where seemingly everything was primed for simulation.” Even something as dreary as healthcare. Twenty years ago, Bullfrog put out a little game called Theme Hospital. Nurse Barney McBoatface, please report to the Dehumorfier immediately!” I’d watch that show. They’re asking if we can take an influx of clowns. ![]() “There’s been an accident, and we’re the nearest hospital. ![]()
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